Pregnancy And Type 1 Diabetes.

One of the most excerrifying (that's being excited and terrified at the same time, if you're unfamiliar) times of my life was being pregnant with my daughter. As a woman who has lived with type 1 diabetes since the dawn of time she was six years old, I'm familiar with the notion that pregnancies with pre-existing diabetes are complicated. Even when you're managing your diabetes perfectly well thankyouverymuch, pregnancy puts us in the "high risk" category and everyone freaks the heck out.

While it's true that balancing pregnancy and pre-existing T1D is a major challenge, what I wish someone would have told me way back when is that not only is it possible for someone like me to create a brand new human being who is totally healthy - there are perks to being pregnant and diabetic!

In that spirit, I'd like to balance out all of the "aaaaaah everything will go wrong!" with a little of what will go right.

In Search.

"So how are you feeling?"

There are many ways I might answer that question, and most times I never quite know which version I'm being asked. Are you asking how I'm feeling after having major abdominal surgery? Are you asking if I'm getting enough sleep? Perhaps you're trying to, as lightly and vaguely as possible, ask if I'm experiencing some baby blues. You may be wondering if I'm finding ways to juggle both motherhood and diabetes management, or if I'm finding ways for Old Kim and Mommy Kim to co-exist*.

Ahhh, there it is. Balance.

It's something I'm working on finding again, with more success in some areas than others.

*Much better now; lately yes, as Rabbit is sleeping 5-7 hours at a time during the night (yay!); nothing of note yet; most days have me thinking WTAF** while looking at my CGM trends, especially overnights; the new sewing box is an indication that I might just be.

**The "a" stands for "actual".

Discoveries.

With a month of momhood under my belt now, I'm noticing a few things:

• If you're going to snuggle a baby against you, probably go ahead and get your insulin pump out of your bra (who wants to snuggle against hard plastic/metal - no one).
• If you're going to take it one step further and snuggle that baby with the use of a wrap, definitely get that insulin pump out of your bra because now you can't bolus without beeps and/or buzzes letting loose right next to their teeny, tiny, sleeping self.
• Trying to figure out where my basal rates (or really, anything) should be at post-pregnancy is really hard. My body is still healing and readjusting to the baby being outside so simply going back to pre-pregnancy settings on my pump doesn't quite cut it. My CGM graphs are resembling [insert name of well-known roller coaster here]. 

• How does anyone get anything done when there is a baby around? I'm lucky if I get to shower before 3:00 pm now, much less appear (clean, dressed, and coherent) at work on time. I have around 6 weeks left in my maternity leave and I have no idea how to go back to real life, or how to get into pants that don't stretch, or what "well-rested" feels like.
• It's really, really hard to have to momentarily ignore my daughter's cries because I have to handle a low blood sugar. There's no way for me to communicate to her yet that while I know she needs me and more than anything I want to pick her up and take care of her, for her safety it's not a good idea right then. It upsets me every time it happens.
• Also really hard? Dealing with a very fussy baby with a blood sugar of 376 at four in the morning without letting myself get cranky about it.
• And lastly, I'm digging this tote from Tallygear (disclosure: I received this tote for free and while I am not required to write about or mention it, I like it, so I am), as a convenient way to carry my CGM, phone, a tube of GlucoLift and some lipbalm while taking a stroll with the Rabbit. The viewing window in the front of the pouch means I don't need to dig it out each time I want to see my CGM screen - super thoughtful! Getting out into the world - and the fresh air and sunshine - for a little bit each day helps to curb the cabin fever 'round here.