Twinsies.

That's an impressive little algorithm you've got there, Dexcom.

Week Twenty-Four.

Remember four weeks ago when I said I was "in the tail-end of that 'is she or isn't she?' phase of roundess? 

My bump, my bump, my bump, my bump. My lovely baby bump. Check it out!

Duuuuude, she is. I've reached a point where people have asked those around me to confirm, and co-workers are offering to lift heavy things for me. Strangers are smiling, holding more doors open and I may soon break out with an "I'm up here, buddy" as I catch people eyeing my belly.

I'm fairly certain that insulin resistance is starting to take hold now. (Cue sad face.) There are times I have a handle on things (top left image, right before the chaos, anyway), but then a few carbs/the wind/looking at a cracker will just send me to the moon. Onward, basal rates and other adjustments!

I mentioned on Monday that my Dexcom receiver busted ("busted" meaning that the button ring fell out), and it took me until yesterday to actually get around to calling Dexcom. Normally that would be okay, but I sort of forgot that I'm leaving town on Sunday (more on that in a minute) and forgot that I'd need the new receiver before then. The gal I spoke to at Dexcom was helpful, and offered that since the black receivers were currently backordered by a day - and thus, one wouldn't arrive until Monday - she could send me a different color. I don't know why I got pink; I think I must have blacked out for a second. But in the end, the hue of my receiver is far less important than having a receiver at all, so I'm delighted that I won't have to travel with a busted medical device.

I'm fairly enamored with the baby legs tutorials I've found on Pinterest, and had a go at making a pair a few days ago. My sewing machine also decided to bust right after that, though I can't confirm whether the two events are related. Right now I have a bunch of cut-up socks laying around and it's driving me crazy that I can't finish them.

Okay, and then to circle-back to the travel comment: from Sunday through Tuesday, my footlong sub* and I will be traveling to Indianapolis for Lilly Diabetes' third second annual Blogger Summit. (Disclosure: Lilly Diabetes is covering the expenses of my travel, lodging, and meals during the summit.)  I hope that our DOC group will be able to walk away from this event thinking, "yeah, we actually got a list of actionable items to work on together in the coming year, and I feel my time here was productive for the diabetes community as a whole". We've been told there will be more info given on the Lilly/Disney partnership, as well as a tour of an insulin manufacturing facility and a meeting with some of Lilly Diabetes' leadership team.

If you have something you feel we should bring up to Lilly while we're there - please leave it in the comments below, and I'll do my best!

*One of this week's pregnancy tracking email updates likened the current estimated size of Baby Girl to a footlong sub, which I found particularly cruel as cold cut subs are on the "hell to the no" food list and now all I want is a darn turkey and cheese sandwich.

Twenty Seven.

Today marks 27 years since I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I don't have much in the way of profound reflections or revelations this year, but what I do have is a life and health I will continue to be thankful for.

I'll be in search of celebratory cupcakes after work today - bring on the Super Bolus!

Falling To Pieces?

Guess who I'll be calling today? (Luckily I was able to pop that disc back in and it is still taking readings, but the functionality is, as they say, "wonky".)

Week Twenty-Three.

Nothing says "hip" like a home blood pressure monitor, amirite?

At the casual suggestion of my regular OB, I made a trip to Walgreens to check these things out. While my BP readings in her office tend to be towards the high side of "okay", that may also be a bit of white coat syndrome (at other doctor appointments recently, I've had more in-range numbers, just to keep things interesting/concerning). And because I'm already used to monitoring other things really closely during these remaining four-ish months (four! months! what!), I figured one more doohickey wouldn't be a big deal. One of the most feasible reasons that Baby Girl may need to come early is my blood pressure - pre-eclampsia and all that - so I'd rather be on top of things. (To clarify, I'm not saying that they think she will need to come early yet, but I am saying that it's something we're watching.)

Thanks to some help from friends on Twitter, I landed on the Omron 7 Series wrist monitor, and I'll be bringing it with me to my next appointment to check it against the real deal armcuff-y one. And here's hoping they match up - all readings at home have been happy ones. (Yeah!)

In less important news, I discovered a coffee house nearby that has decaf hazelnut and I wanted to hug that barista so hard. Why is it so difficult to find flavored decaf coffee around here?

And then back to more important stuff, I see that Animas/Johnson & Johnson have finally submitted their integrated pump and CGM combo, the Vibe, to the FDA for approval. Let's not even talk about how when I ordered my Ping four years ago they were talking about upgrading to the Vibe three months from then... the part I'd rather focus on is how my pump warranty will be up this fall, and I am really hoping that the Vibe can be among my options this go-round. Not having to cart around the receiver (though it sounds like I'd still hang onto the one I have now even if I got the Vibe, from reading that DiabetesMine article linked above) would be lovely - one less thing to worry about/take up space in the diaper bag.

One last thing - Baby Girl's BFF was born yesterday, as I became an aunt for the first time. My goodness are babies tiny! I can't wait to meet mine. :)

Clean Off.

It appears that I should really be more careful when approaching chairs with unforgiving arm rests....

While the Flexifix tape did its job of keeping my three day old Dexcom sensor's adhesive stuck to me, the actual sensor ripped almost clean off. Part of the wire might still be in my skin; I couldn't tell, but the wire looked shorter than normal to me after I removed it.

I guess we'll find out the next time I'm at the airport?

Breakfast Woes.

"I think that's too many carbs for you right now."

My endo and I were reviewing several days' worth of Dexcom graphs, and it was glaringly obvious where my most consistent challenge lies: breakfast.

Overnight? Coasting beautifully. After lunch? No problemo. Dinner? Even that's not too bad. But breakfast? Breakfast is a jerk. Breakfast is a bastard who steals my lunch money and throws spitballs at the back of my head all morning. We hates it. We hates it forever.

"So what kind of stuff are you eating then?", my doctor asked. Every single day for the past handful of days, I'm soaring above 200 after my daily oatmeal, raisins, and glass of milk. It's a breakfast I switched to a couple of weeks ago as I had gotten tired of my usual egg casserole, and oatmeal is a breakfast I can eat while driving to work super easy and quick to make during my morning rush. I'm also trying to balance the whole "you're supposed to eat more whole grains and fiber and the baby needs carbs so quit low-carbing it at breakfast" thing, so I had thought oatmeal might be a good substitute.

It is not.

I explained, "I've been trying a different strategy pretty much every morning for the past week, without messing with my basal rates. Bolus early? High. Use an extended bolus? High. Up my insulin to carb ratio? High. Think about oatmeal? High."

"Maybe try something with some more protein? And let's increase your I:C ratio at breakfast, as well as inch up your basal rate a bit", she said, while I imagined her waving a magic wand.

And you know what? If improvement can be measured over just one day (it can't, but indulge me), she's right.

What's also encouraging is that my blood pressure measured lower than it has in years, my thyroid levels came back "perfect", my A1C result clocked in at a number my doctor and I were both pleased with, and I can't even get mad about gaining a few pounds since the last appointment because, hello, pregnant ladies do that.

I'm clutching to this moment where I feel full of win, and I'm running with it as far as it will let me go.

(Also, Baby Girl is moving around like crazy right now. She says "hi".) :)

Wordless Wednesday: Balloons.

A big thank you to my friend Amie for taking such wonderful pictures!

Cauliflower Crust Pizza.

It occurred to me last night that I hadn't eaten any "real" vegetables in a couple of days, and seeing as how we had two heads of cauliflower sitting in our fridge, I should probably do something about that. Growing babies like veggies, I hear.

And so, this happened (and it was delicious):

The crust would qualify as gluten-free, I think, because it's made of riced cauliflower (if you're like me and don't own a ricer or food processor, a cheese grater will work just fine), egg, cheese, and oregano. And it's definitely lower carb than a normal pizza, which is always a bonus - the bulk of your carbs will come from the BBQ sauce. I peaked at 151 after eating two slices, and that's pretty much unheard of for me.

I should also mention that you can't go into this thinking that it will taste like normal pizza; it won't. But it WILL taste good, and that counts for something. I have no nutritional info on this one, so you'll have to do that research/guessing on your own.

Next time I think I need to squeeze more liquid out of the cauliflower before mixing it all up, as the center of the "crust" didn't get all nice and crispy like the outsides did. (This could also be because I didn't use a baking mat or parchment paper to pre-bake the crust?) Practice!

If you'd like to give this a try, here's the recipe I used.

The "What If"s.

Aaron and I headed to the Maternal-Fetal Medicine division of Bergan Mercy hospital in Omaha on Tuesday for our first level 2 ultrasound.

It was our first experience with this office, this doctor, and an ultrasound that projected on a large flat-screen TV in front of us. Actually, it was Aaron's first everything - this was the first baby appointment which he's been able to attend.

Level 2 ultrasounds are also referred to as anatomy scans, which as you may guess, means that we got to see lots of detail this time: organs like the kidneys, heart, and stomach, as well as bones, feet, arms and hands, and some lovely profile shots. There were wonderful moments where we watched our baby's mouth move, its arms wiggle about, and its feet kick to and fro. Magical? Yes.

The good news is that, so far, everything looks normal and happy and just as it should be. I was asked to come back in four weeks for another ultrasound check, as they'll want to check the heart out again. "We're trying to measure something that's, right now, about this big", our doctor said while gesturing with the tip of his pinky finger, "so in four weeks we should be able to get a better look at it".

We must have asked him four or five different ways: "But everything looks okay? Nothing to be concerned about? The baby looks good so far?" And while we received all answers in the affirmative, the fact remains that I'm a woman with type 1 diabetes who is pregnant. To a doctor who sees a wide variety of high-risk patients in various states of self-care, that means a need to inform us of all the "what if"s. He began by asking me how my diabetes was, and because every other doctor in my medical history has seemed to want that answered with an A1C result, that's how I responded.

I found it curious, then, when he smirked. "Actually, I don't care much about your A1C." I'm not sure what, exactly, he cared about - I think he was looking for a bigger picture answer, or maybe that I could say that I've never launched above 120 mg/dL ever. I think he wanted to know if I knew the fasting and post-prandial goals to shoot for (which, as he told it, are under 100 for fasting numbers, and under 120 two hours after meals), or if I realized the myriad of complications that could occur due to a large baby. For a few minutes it was all Charlie Brown's teacher: "wah wah wuh wah stillbirth mrph wah wah c-section mrph wurr wah deliver early wah wah wurr pre-eclampsia wurr wah", and I suspected then that I had never really, seriously, discussed any of these possibilities with Aaron. Our conversation during the walk back to our car confirmed my suspicion.

Whoopsie.

I don't mean to cast our Maternal-Fetal doc in a bad light - he is doing his job, which is to make sure his patients are informed and cognizant of what may lie ahead. But I couldn't help but be reminded of something I've heard Dr. Polonsky say time and again:

"While poorly managed diabetes is the leading cause of most of the scary long-term complications, well-managed diabetes is the leading cause of...nothing."

That's why these risks are not top of mind for me, or something I mull over often. It's not that I'm naive; at least, I don't think I am. I know that any of this could happen. But much like worrying about a car accident every time I drive, a crashing plane every time I fly, or a gray strand every time I brush my hair, living life cannot be a process that is dictated by fear. It's why you wear a seatbelt; why planes are designed so carefully; why they invented hair dye. I am doing the very best I know how in order to have a healthy pregnancy, and while I'm placing some possibly unearned trust in my body, I also have to accept that the rest of it is out of my hands. Worrying is futile (and unhealthy for you, anyway); if something happens, we'll deal with it then, and in the meantime, I'll do the best I can to keep us both healthy.

I'd rather focus on the greatest "what if" of all: "What if everything turns out absolutely okay?"

* * * * *

I recently contributed a blog post to the Diabetes Advocates site on the topic of diabetes and pregnancy, sharing a bit of my own experience, as well as linking to resources for those planning a pregnancy while living with diabetes. Go check it out here, and if you know of a resource or blog we should add to the growing list, please share it!