A Letter To Myself.

Today's prompt: In February the Wego Blog Carnival asked participants to write letters to their condition. You can write a letter to diabetes if you’d like, but we can also take it one step further. How about writing a letter to a fictional (or not so fictional) endocrinologist telling the doctor what you love (or not) about them. How about a letter to a pretend (or again, not so pretend) meter or pump company telling them of the device of your dreams? Maybe you’d like to write a letter to your child with diabetes. Or a letter from your adult self to the d-child you were. Whomever you choose as a recipient, today is the day to tell them what you are feeling.

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Dear Little Kim (not to be confused with Lil' Kim, who has no part in this),

I want to tell you that you can do this.

There are so many parts of life that don't make a lot of sense to you yet. So many unknowns. So many questions that seem unanswerable. So many things that don't quite seem fair. And you probably don't yet know what I mean by "this" - but you will soon.

I can't tell you many specifics about the years ahead, as I'm pretty sure that will somehow unravel the very fabric of the space-time continuum, and destroy the entire universe - but I can tell you that no matter how convinced you become that life has it out for you; that the weight of this disease and all that seems to come with it feels so crushing; that the immense pressures in what lies ahead seem more than you can bear - I want you to remember what I'm saying here. I want you to come back to it when it starts to resonate.

I want you to know that you can do this.

You're going to have a lot of happiness in your life, but I need to be real about this when I say: you're going to have to go through a lot of crap to get there. Buckle up.

You will do things you'll later regret - and that's okay. You won't take care of yourself sometimes. You'll get yourself so worked up about what having diabetes might mean for your future that you'll cry yourself to sleep some nights. And that's okay, too. You'll pull through that. And you may be surprised to find out that you aren't the only one who feels that way.

I want you to know you can do this.

And while there will be dark periods in your life, you must believe me when I tell you that there will be plenty of light. Even with all of the diabetes crap - it will be a great life. You will know what fulfillment, pride, and unconditional love feel like. You'll get to travel; you'll be able to use your art for a greater good; you'll push your body to physical limits you can't imagine now; you'll find more friends along the way than you ever thought you would.

You'll do all of that with diabetes - and you'll help others do the same.

Please don't let the worse case scenario allow you to be afraid of what's to come, or how things will turn out - because it's going to be awesome. The odds won't always be against you; the numbers aren't indicative of your worth as a person; and doctors aren't always right. Dream big and don't be afraid to try to make those dreams a Real Life Thing That's Actually Happening.

You can do this. TOTALLY.

Hugs,

Kim

P.S. I know you think it's a good idea to sell those Barbie dolls at a garage sale, but hang onto those. Trust me on this.