Awesome.

Today's prompt: In February the #dsma blog carnival challenged us to write about the most awesome thing we’d done DESPITE diabetes. Today let’s put a twist on that topic and focus on the good things diabetes has brought us. What awesome thing have you (or your child) done BECAUSE of diabetes? After all, like my blog header says, life with diabetes isn’t all bad!

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I'm having a bit of trouble with today's prompt topic - even though "awesome" is one of my favorite words. (And right now, "Blogger" definitely isn't - but that's another story.) I'm totally comfortable admitting my faults, bloopers, nerd cred... but "the awesome"? Not so comfortable.

I've written, erased, and rewritten this post a few times today... but it never quite sounds right. I've decided I just need to write, and quit over-thinking it (HAHAHAHA not possible but it sounds good).

Despite, but mostly because of, diabetes...

...I feel a sense of purpose.

Prior to finding the DOC, I felt a little bit lost. I'm not just talking about "lost" in the sense of living with diabetes - I actually just felt that way in general. My life was "good", but I didn't feel like I was headed anywhere particularly special or significant. I wasn't doing or contributing to much that was bigger than my own personal life bubble.

Diabetes, and the online community, as provided ways for me to feel more self-worth. It's given me empathy to hundreds of scenarios that diabetes can bring. It's opened my eyes to causes that need attention. It's helped me crawl out of my shell; forced me (in the best way) to extend myself socially in ways I might not have before.

Did you know that I'm actually kind of shy? At least I feel that I am. I often make myself blurt something out to appear otherwise, in situations I don't feel completely confident in.

But things like that have gotten easier for me in the last couple of years. I think I have my relationship with diabetes (and others who have it) to thank for that, at least in part. And with all of the ridiculously nice comments you guys leave here (really - I am known to tear up over them at times (shocker!), and really appreciate every one of them), you've helped boost my confidence, too.

That confidence has helped me extend myself more, which (I hope) does some good for others, which makes me feel better about the person I am.

I get to do things that matter to people. That's pretty much the definition of "awesome", to me.

What I'm saying is that any semblence of awesome I may appear to have can be traced directly back to all of the awesomeness that is YOU, the DOC.

Thank you for that.

P.S. A prayer to the Blogger Gods - please give me back the comments on my post yesterday, and all of the comments that have been left on other posts in the last 24ish hours. Seriously. Not okay.