I'm standing on the edge of a cliff again. Looking ahead; toes wiggling in the breeze.
You know that feeling, don't you? The butterflies; the sweaty palms; the fluttering heartbeat. You're on the cusp of something big - it's almost here, but not quite yet - and whether your jump will be successful or disastrous is yet to be seen.
You hope it can do some good. You hope it won't come back to bite you.
Some would call it a "leap of faith". Some would call it "risky".
I call it telling my story.
My hope in doing so is to reach someone who needs to hear what I've done, and what I've been through, and that I'm here now - in this wonderful, amazing, imperfect life that I'm totally in love with. I wanted to make a video for the kind of person I was, way back when. Maybe that person is you, or someone you love. Maybe it isn't.
But if you are on the same part of the road I'm talking about here, I want you to know that I've walked there, too. I want you to know that I'd like to take your hand and help you walk just a little bit farther, down to the part of the road where things have gotten so much better.
So here I am, taking that leap.
This is why I wanted to start the You Can Do This Project. Not so I could upload a video of myself crying for six minutes - though, that happened anyway (yikes) - but because these are stories that will have value for others.
I can't wait to watch and read everyone's entries today!
Kim, you are amazing for putting your feelings out there for others to see. I am so thankful because, I was horrible to myself when I was diagnosed at 18, and for many years after that. You make me want to tell my story. Things are so much better now, that I've accepted myself, and I'm happy that you have too. You are WONDERFUL, INSPIRING, & BEAUTIFUL, thank you for sharing your story. Huge Cyberhug to you. - Meagan
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. If I wanted to do an entry for the "you can do this" is there one place they are posted together on youtube or here, or do people post them on their own site?
ReplyDeleteMeagan - big hugs back to you!
ReplyDeleteDejathoris - there is a link list at the bottom of the You Can Do This tab (http://www.textingmypancreas.com/p/you-can-do-this-project.html). :) I am also trying to "favorite" every video I find, so that you can find them through the YCDT YouTube channel.
Oops never mind I found it!
ReplyDeleteKim, I wish I lived closer because I would love to give you a hug. And I'm SO not a hugger. ;)
ReplyDeleteThis video was beautiful. IS beautiful. And so are you. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. We've always got your back. Much love.
Kim, so many of the things you said are things I went through. Thankfully I never hurt myself, but those feelings, the depression, even the 12.1 A1c & the doctor telling me I was going to die....it was me too. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteKim thank you so much for sharing such a intimate part of your life.
ReplyDeleteI know that was hard but you did it for all of us. As a diabetic that was in denial for a couple of years I totally get it.
The battle rages on inside of my body and knocks me down often but I
manage to just pull myself up and move on. Everyday is a battle. I wish I had someone to talk to. Twitter and finding everybody on there with sharing their stories about diabetes has helped so much.
God Bless you for reaching out.
Sending hugs with gratitude and much love
What a great idea Kim! You are reaching many lives with your effort.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE YOU & am SO VERY PROUD of you!
ReplyDeleteWow, what a poignant video! So moving! I applaud you for putting yourself out there, for sharing, for your honesty, for your desire to help others, for taking that desire and actually doing something about it. YCDT is such an important project and I think so many will benefit from it. Bravo and thank you for making it happen and for having such a positive impact on others!
ReplyDeleteKim, thank you for being so honest, and this video, despite how hard and nervous you were making it, and then hitting the submit knowing there is no going back, YOU DID THIS. And you doing this tells everyone, YOU CAN DO THIS!!! I'm still getting the balls to try and do this, without crying the entire time, because I promise I look TERRIBLE when I cry, but I will, because people like you make me want to help change the lives of others. Even if it is one. And I too, wouldn't take insulin sometimes, and i loved forgetting to take my levemir because I felt I was in control and NOT diabetes. Thank you again for sharing!!!:)
ReplyDeleteKim, that is fantastic. You're an amazing young woman.
ReplyDeleteYou are making a difference by showing everyone that THEY CAN DO THIS. Great video and THANK YOU...xo
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your story & especially opening up your journals to us.I know for myself(as a journal keeper) how much painful beauty they can contain.It takes courage to go back and look at them AND share them with the world.You are awesome!
ReplyDeleteAlso on a totally girly note: You have gorgeous hair!! :)
Hugs-
This was a little hard to watch because Justin doesn't talk to us about things that bother him, even when I try to get him to. Deep down that scares me. He faces so many challenges and I know it has some effect on him.
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine how tough it was for you to share this... thank you.
Kim, I can't even imagine how hard this was for you to share this.... but it was AMAZING, and thank you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for sharing this with all of us. (dHugs) You've learned so much and come so far with your diabetes life, and that is an amazing thing.
ReplyDeleteKim, what courage it took for you to open up those scary places and share with everyone. But know this - doing so will help many people who are struggling with the sick and twisted mental torture that diabetes forces onto us.
ReplyDeleteI love you very much and appreciate all that you do. Thank you.
Kim, your honesty and bravery has moved me to tears. I know that your courage in sharing your story will help others out there. Thank you for using your voice to inspire others to get involved as well. Please know that you are not alone with your battle scars.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Kim, your project is fantastic! Old Richard is proud of you, thanks so much!!
ReplyDeleteDamn it, Kim... you made this cranky, old guy reach for the tissues! Awesome!
ReplyDeleteIf it wouldn't draw so much attention, I would totally be standing up applauding you right now!
ReplyDeleteFrom someone who has had those thoughts, I know how hard it is to say them out loud. It takes an amazing amount of courage.
Thank you for putting this project together. Bean and I will be working on ours over the weekend!
There are many lives being lived with diabetes...so glad you are one of them!!
Wow, thank you for putting it all out there - for me, for others, for you.
ReplyDeleteWhile diabetes wasn't in the picture then, there are memories of some pretty rough times with depression as a teen/early adult. Lots of the same writing stuff over and over and over. Yeah, I get that part.
Kim, what an honor it is to know you and call you a friend. This video is so incredible, as are you - just an inspiration to know. So much of what you said hit me and resonated, and it brought back all the emotions of my hitting the 13 A1c level and grappling with depression amplified by hypothyroidism. But, we made it through. And you telling your story, THAT is touching others and making a difference and providing hope that we can make it through. I echo the thoughts on wanting to send hugs your way, and that's a promise next time we're in the same state together. Best to you, and thank you so much for bringing all of this together.
ReplyDeleteWhere's the HUG button on this keyboard? I.O.U.
ReplyDeleteI'm so proud of you Kim. Not only is this project as a whole amazing, but your story is real, and something that so many of us have lived through and dealt with. We've also, unfortunately, been taught by the world not to talk about it. So thank you for sharing, because even having lived through some of those dark days myself, a reminder that I wasn't alone then, and I'm not alone now, is always welcome.
Kim,
ReplyDeleteI love you and I am glad that you are my friend. And thank you for your story.
I just got really mad watching this. Mad at the medical establishment for failing to acknowledge that the emotional and psychological burden of diabetes is just as dangerous as high blood sugar. Then I got really glad ... because you shared your story. And encouraged other people, through the #youcandothisproject, to do so as well. Thank you, Kim, for healing yourself and for providing a forum (and encouragement) for other people to tap into the rich pageant of support that is the Diabetes Online Community. It's not just we can do this, we ARE doing this. Every day. And that makes us all amazingly awesome, A1C of 6.2 or 12.6. Fondly,
ReplyDeleteWow, Kim, that was incredibly touching. This project has SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much potential. Thank you so much!
ReplyDeleteKim-it's an honor to know you : ) Your video was wonderful-both in your honesty and in the way you are touching lives. I'm so sorry for your years alone with your pain-I can't imagine doing it alone-it's no wonder the stress and depression mounted up. You are doing something with it now-and I am praying that you reach all the far corners-all those people who are in that spot NOW, and need to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Bless You. Hugs, Holly
ReplyDeleteand i'm crying now! kim, you are so brave! you are going to help SO MANY PEOPLE by sharing this. i am honored to be your friend.
ReplyDeleteand i'm totally hug-tackling you next time i see you...
Kim, my heart just hurts and is so proud of you all at the same time. I *know* what you went through. I used food to hurt myself and thought it was the only way to feel better, keep the icky emotions pushed down so they wouldn't get in the way. It took a looooong time to even begin to start valuing myself and caring for myself in ways that I would take care of anyone else. I'm so glad to know you and think of you as my friend. Thank you for posting this video. You did it--you made this idea come to life--and what an amazing gift it is, to me, to the DOC, to anyone who needs to hear from those who know. We know, we understand. It's so hard. And yet here we are; we're doing this. Love you.
ReplyDeleteKim, you are totally amazing.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Kim! This project has been such a blessing in my life. I just hope I can bless someone else with my video the way you have blessed me!
ReplyDeleteThank you. For the project , for the video, for always being on the other end of my tweets when I feel alone. You're amazing. I just want to give you a huge hug!
ReplyDeleteI'm so honored to know you and be part of this community! Xoxo
Thanks for making me mess up my makeup lol You sharing this and exposing this website is amazing. I never want my sons to feel alone and knowing they have a community like this to reach out to, is a blessing. Thank you
ReplyDeleteJessica